This morning on the way to work, I saw a tiny brown mouse at Mehringdamm station. I thought it was a smooth brown stone at first, one of the millions of brown rocks that sit around the tracks up and down the U-Bahn network. But then, like the little grey ones (darting around the grey steel and grey stones) in London, this rock moved. I warmed to Berlin just a little more – over a stupid arbitrary thing like this, yes. This city and my city have small rodents that make a good-enough life in the transport systems. Tenuous at best, but there you go. Being away from home reveals layers, and they’re not all deep or profound.
The night before, I had the first German language lesson of my life. The hour-long session confirmed or reminded me of two things: 1. I am my mother’s daughter, in that mimicry comes easily to me and I will always be grateful for it, from doing the voices on the fake radio station my sister and I created as kids in Lagos, to pronouncing “Ich komme aus England” on a crisp Tuesday evening in Berlin; and 2. Given the right opportunity, I will fulfill the role of teacher’s pet with aplomb. I preened under the attentions of Stephanie, our tutor, a smiley young woman who finished studying politics at university last summer, clapping and smiling broadly when I was correct. You always think you’re a badass who doesn’t give a fuck until someone says: “Hey, well done. Go you!” Then your need for external validation – however small – comes to the fore and your cheeks are hot with the pleasure of being seen. I asked where Stephanie’s from, and like many Germans do when asked this question, she gave me a direction, rather than a place name. “I’m from the south. South Germany. A small town in the mountains.” Like Heidi, I half-teased – she’s on an hourly rate, I figured that intimacy meant we could crack little jokes. She seemed delighted by my little attempt at humour. “Yes! Like Heidi,” she laughed. She found Berlin a bit fast paced, she told me, and will likely return to her part of the country next year. I said Berlin seems incredibly chilled next to my home city; she widened her eyes gratifyingly. Yes, I thought, be in awe of my big city-ness! Then I felt like an idiot. Those undeep, not-profound layers again. I just really love being from That London, I guess.
I learned the words for ‘to’, ‘also’ and ‘thirty’ (for when people ask me my age, obvs), among other things. I also had a really superior cappuccino at the market where we met to have our lesson. It felt like an indoor Borough Market, only without the wankers and a lot more meat. I will return.
Now I’ve got to go swot up on my notes so I can impress Stephanie the tutor. The monster has been uncaged – I will master this language, and do so while kissing ass. Watch me.
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